special package
by Xayide
Summary: Galadriel is pregnant with Pippin's baby - NO DON'T THROW STUFF AT ME!!! Just bear with me.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Ok, ok, I didn't create lotr, however Tamis, Kimios, Makana, Neodir, Ebrethiel and all those other elf kids are mine.  
  
Please review! No flames, please. They really piss me off and will be used to toast marshmallows.  
  
"Eldarion!" Aragorn picked up his son and shook him. "How often must I tell you? Don't - touch - daddy's - sword!"  
  
Two - year - old Eldarion of Gondor's lip began to tremble and he began to cry. Aragorn sighed, now Arwen was looking at him with a some-father-you- are sort of glare, much to Galadriel's amusement.  
  
They were gathered at the annual Rulers of Middle Earth Convention. Elves, wizards, hobbits and men mingled and talked - except for Galadriel, who sat quietly and watched Elrond as he participated in the three-legged race with Elladan - or he did, until they tripped over Samwise Gamgee and his daughter Elanor. Elrond tired of watching Elladan and Sam fight, and went to get his fifth glass of Vodka. Galadriel thought of getting him away from the hobbits, but decided not to bother. If the worst came to worst, Gandalf would soon knock some soberness into him. Aragorn was patiently explaining to his son why sticking a sword into Gloin the dwarf's backside was a bad idea, while Arwen was breast-feeding their daughter, Kamira, who was only six months old.  
  
Galadriel was very old, so old she had lost count - she had stopped aging thousands of years ago. And yet in all that time she only had one daughter, after thousands of years of trying, nothing. And of course Celeborn had to get killed on that orc hunt, leaving her completely in the dark. Galadriel desperately wanted another baby, seeing that Celebrian was now in Grey Havens and hardly ever wrote. Elrond, well he was sort of her son, but who wanted a son with such hideous eyebrows? Only his real mother could love those.  
  
Since she had stopped aging relatively early, Galadriel still had her looks, so it wouldn't been to get another elf. But Galadriel had this phobia of hooking up with an elf who was somehow related to Elrond, and she would give birth to a professional eyebrow waxer's nightmare with the inability to smile. No - she decided to look around elves. Men? Too greasy. Dwarves? The very idea made her shudder involuntarily. Hobbits - that had been done before. And just to prove her point, there was a loud crash behind her and something jarred her hip. Galadriel turned, rubbing her sore hip, and came waist to face with one of the female pages of Rivendell, Tamis Skysong - Greenleaf, Middle Earth's second most beautiful being, or the Dawnstar, and the only current hobbit - elf.  
  
Tamis' hands shook as she scooped broken glass onto the tray she had been carrying, and several cuts appeared.  
  
"I'm really sorry Queen Galadriel, lady of Galadhrim, um, sir." The elfling babbled hysterically, crying from pain and shame. "I'll do anything, I'll."  
  
Galadriel silenced her by holding up a hand, grinning broadly. Normally she would have given a page a right ear-bashing for being clumsy, but if her plan was going to work, she needed to have a good look at Tamis.  
  
"Tell me." She said, pulling the abnormally small elfling to her feet by a bleeding hand. "Wasn't your mother a hobbit?"  
  
"Y-y-yes M'm." Stammered Tamis. Is it just me, or is the Lady acting a little docile for someone who just got a hip full of glass? Tamis wondered.  
  
"I see. So you are half and half then. How fascinating! I was convinced that it couldn't be done. Yet, here you are, turned out so well.  
  
"Uh, yeah." Tamis said vaguely, wrenching her hand away from Galadriel's. The queen's Brady bunch smile and tone was getting to her. And even an elfling as young as Tamis could tell when an elf had a wicked master plan.  
  
"I'd, ah, love to stay and chat, but I have an extremely important date." Tamis said brusquely. Before Galadriel had the chance to ask, Pippin came jogging over. "Hiya Tamy! Got the drinks yet?"  
  
"No." Said Tamis, becoming very giggly. "I.um.had an accident.I'll be there in a second."  
  
"Okay!" Chirped Pippin, and sauntered off. Galadriel raised her eyebrows.  
  
"I fail to see how Peregrin Took classifies as an extremely important date."  
  
Tamis blushed. "But of course he is! He's really cute and he's into second breakfast too! I promised him I'd get some drinks, so I gotta go. Oh, and Frodo Baggins is free right now, he's over at the punch bowl." And she ran off, smirking evilly.  
  
Did Tamis Imeon Kalamal Arwen Dawnstar Lightfoot Skysong Greenleaf just see right through me? Galadriel wondered. Yes - she did. All right - note to self - always get information from a thicker being. Frodo was indeed sitting next to the punch bowl, helping himself generously. Galadriel tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Good evening."  
  
"Arrrggh!" Frodo levitated three feet in the air, then swung around, using his saucer as a shield. "Please don't hurt me!" he whimpered.  
  
Galadriel made a sound of deep exasperation. "I'm not going to hurt you, you fool! I just want to.talk."  
  
Frodo eyed her nervously. "About what?"  
  
"About you."  
  
"Oh." They sat quietly for a few minutes.  
  
"Hessian." Said Galadriel suddenly. "It goes well on you. Where do you purchase your clothes, anyway?"  
  
"Goodies for Shorties. The hobbit and dwarf retailers."  
  
"Oh really?" Said Galadriel, not paying attention. "I shop there all the time."  
  
Frodo looked around, very scared.  
  
Galadriel jumped. "Oh! I mean.um.I buy necklaces to wear as bracelets."  
  
Frodo relaxed, and Galadriel cursed herself for sounding so tacky for an elf queen. What sort of elf, a royal one at that, shopped at a store also used by dwarves?! Time for a little subtle seduction.  
  
"So." Galadriel said smoothly. "Anyone at home? Do you have a wife? A few children?"  
  
"No. It's just me and Bag End."  
  
Perfect, Galadriel thought. She edged closer to Frodo, crossing one leg over the other, then folding her hands seductively on her knee.  
  
"You seem to live a simple life in Hobbiton. I don't suppose you ever thought about marriage or children?"  
  
As subtly as Galadriel was trying to be seductive, Frodo was even more subtly trying to get the hell out of there. What does this woman want? He wondered. Doesn't she know elvan perfume can give a hobbit brain damage? And why is she getting so.well.touchy - feely? He wondered. If she continues to move over, I'll be forced to edge off this bench. Maybe if I play along, she'll get bored and go away.  
  
"Well, it's a nice thought, though I haven't found the right hobbit yet." Answered Frodo as he flailed his arms around around as he desperately tried to stay balanced on the end of the bench.  
  
"Ah, but why confine yourself to hobbits?" sighed Galadriel. "There are plenty good females in other species like.oh, I don't know.elves?  
  
"Elves?" Repeated Frodo. "Well.I'm not sure. I sort of like Arwen, what with her saving me from the ring wraiths and all. But I'm willing to bet that if I tried anything on her, Lord Elrond and King Aragorn would stick their feet up my rear so bad every time I farted it would come out my ears."  
  
Galadriel gave a girlish giggle. "Ooh Frodo you are so hilarious! But the Evenstar is not the only elf in the field, Frodo Baggins."  
  
Frodo pondered. "Well, there's Tamis, but she's a little immature. Besides, she cries all the time. She cried when Pippin told her Bill had horse pox."  
  
"No Frodo!" Time for a new tactic, Galadriel thought. "Did you ever dream about being a king?  
  
"Well, I dream about it when I was a tween, but that's it." "It is quite easy to become a king these days." Said Galadriel dreamily. "You just have to marry the right person."  
  
"Like who?" Frodo asked suspiciously.  
  
"Like the king of Lorien, perhaps?" Frodo did fall off the bench then, as he realised what she was saying. Galadriel looked at him strangely and indignantly; by this stage she had been sitting so close to him she almost toppled off as well. Frodo jumped up, sweating.  
  
"I, er, have to go to the little hobbit's room he gasped, and sped away. But after half an hour of nail - biting, Galadriel realised he was taking a little long. So, she asked Sam.  
  
"Ay! Samwise!" She called, and he came sauntering over. "Have you seen Frodo Baggins?"  
  
Sam frowned. "He left half an hour ago, Milady." Galadriel clapped a hand to her forehead. "He was in a hurry, if that makes you feel better."  
  
"No." snapped Galadriel. "It doesn't." And she stormed off.  
  
Galadriel sat moping for ages. Damn these hobbits. They are smarter that I thought. She looked down to find Kamira playing with her toes. I wonder if she'll let me.  
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Arrrrrgggghh!" Galadriel jumped out of her chair and crashed into a wall. Kamira, alarmed at the sudden disturbance, started to yell. Galadriel sighed and squashed the urge to give Peregrin Took a good swift kick and focused her attention on calming her upset great - grandaughter. A plan was forming in her mind.  
  
"Oops." Pippin shuffled his feet. "Sorry."  
  
"Never mind." Galadriel pushed Kamira into Pippin's arms. "Do you like what you see? You pair very well together."  
  
"Aww." Crooned Pippin. "I like babies. I like babies almost as much as mushrooms."  
  
Good, thought Galadriel.  
  
"But what has he got to do with me?" Pippin asked.  
  
Galadriel concentrated on keeping her face neutral. In order to pull the next part off, she would have to be incredibly convincing.  
  
"It is not Kamira of Gondor in particular." She said calmly. "There is something you must know."  
  
And she led Pippin, still holding Kamira, into the little alcove where she kept her mirror. As she poured the water into the bowl, She began her familiar speech.  
  
"The mirror shows many things. Things that have been, things that are and some things that have not yet come to pass." As she spoke, the waters shifted, unsure what to do. Galadriel gave it some mental influence, and it changed into an image of an infant fast asleep in a nursery. "  
  
Aww." Said Pippin. "More babies."  
  
"This is what will come to pass if you succeed in your mission." Galadriel said calmly.  
  
"Oh. And.what is my mission?"  
  
Galadriel slapped her forehead. "To have children!"  
  
"But.who.." Pippin was genuinely confused.  
  
Galadriel sighed. "Indeed.you can not rely on your fellow hobbits. It is only I who can bear your child. Sad.but so."  
  
Pippin gulped. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"All right, how do we do that?"  
  
Galadriel's mouth fell open. "Don't you know where children come from?" Pippin blushed. "Well.no."  
  
"Good grief! Go and take Kamira to her mother, and ask her about it!"  
  
"OK!" Pippin ran over to Arwen, who gladly took her daughter back. Straight away, Pippin asked the big question. Arwen took a moment to recover from the shock, then she bent and whispered the answer in his ear. Pippin's eyes got wider and wider, then he ran back to Galadriel, looking very amused.  
  
"Do you understand now?" Galadriel asked.  
  
"Yes." Pippin giggled.  
  
"Good. Then I need you to meet me in Rivendell in one week. Can you make that?"  
  
"Of course." Said Pippin, feeling very important. "I'll .um.go now."  
  
Pippin ran off, and Galadriel sat down again. As she watched Pippin dance, a smile spread over her face. 


	2. 2

* * * One week later It was late afternoon in Rivendell. Tamis's class had finished their lessons for the day, and were all gathered in their playroom tower, playing cards, doing homework and eating smuggled iced lembas. Akidiel Hillion caught sight off something-strange outside. "Girls!" she called. "There's something down there!" There was a stampede as the elven girls scrambled over and tried to fit all fifteen of their heads around the window frame. Much to Tamis's annoyance, she was last, and of course she couldn't see over the girls' elbows. "Is it an orc?" Galadae asked anxiously. "Is it a band of uruk - hai?" Shuddered Elwing. "No - just a hobbit." Said Akidiel. "A bit strange for a hobbit to be hanging around here, if you ask me." "Not as strange as an Elfling with afro hair." Laughed Gorawen, tugging at one of Akidiel's fuzzy pigtails. "I thought it was something gross, like a dwarf." That comment made Tamis think of Legolas. "Dwarves aren't that gross." She said defiantly. Gorawen turned around, sneering. "I'm sorry - you're the one who's friends with." Gorawen paused to make sure everyone was listening, "a dwarf - liker!" All the Rivendell girls shook their heads, to them being a dwarf - liker was the ultimate insult. Disgusted, Kimios stepped forward. "Her friend happens to be our prince." She snapped. "So you can show some respect, Gorawen Nasai." "Oh, shut it, you two." Akidiel said impatiently. "It's not an orc, or an uruk, or a dwarf. It's a hobbit, and that's what matters. Is he a relative of yours Tay?" "How would I know!" Yelled Tamis. "I can't see!" "Oops - sorry Tamy." Kimios lifted her onto the windowsill. "Hey!" Cried Tamis. "It's Pippin!" Makana giggled. "Yes - we all know how Tamis feels about Pippin." Tamis blushed, and the girls laughed. "Girls!" Glorfindel called up the stairs. "Dinner!" "I smell apple chicken stew!" Yelled Sindarharth and Xeyah, and everyone followed the twins downstairs. Tamis grabbed Kimios and Makana by their skirts. "Girls." She begged, "Can't you go with me to meet Pippin?" "You? Skipping dinner for anyone? What's middle earth coming to?" Yelped Makana. "Yeah, besides, how do you know he's here to see you?" Kimios agreed. "Pllleeeeeeeeeeeesssse?" Tamis wailed. "Oh, all right. I'll remember this, Tamy." The three elflings crept down stairs, but there was really no need for caution, everyone was in the dining room. They found Pippin wandering aimlessly around the entrance hall. "Pippin!" Tamis threw her arms around his neck. "How goes you?" "A little confused." Said Pippin, squirming out of Tamis's arms. "I am supposed to meet lady Galadriel here in Rivendell." "Lady Galadriel?" Interrupted Makana. "She's in Rivendell?" "Yeah." "Well, she's not in the house of Elrond." Said Kimios. "If she was, we'd know." "Of course, it's entirely possible that she's staying at the Imladris lodge." Frowned Makana. "But why would she do that?" Just then Kimios's stomach made a sound similar to thunder. "Oops, my bad." She blushed. "You two go on to dinner." Said Tamis. "Pippin and me will go check the Imladris lodge guest book." Makana licked her lips. "Sure, we'll save you some stew." Tamis and Pippin snuck outside, and next door to the elf hostel where every thing was well respected, except for Nilthion, the sleazy bellhop. "Hello fair Dawnstar." Nilthion said greasily. "What may I do for you?" "Um, I'd like to see the guest book please." Said Tamis nervously. "Sure Dawnstar. Anything for you." Crawled Nilthion as he handed her the heavy book. Tamis looked under the day's date. "Here we go! She arrived two hours ago, in room twelve. So why does she want you, anyway?" Pippin puffed his chest out. "That's for me to know and you to find out." "Oh fine." Growled Tamis. "I'm going." She started to walk back to Elrond's palace, but turned around. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she was eager to know why Galadriel would hold council with a hobbit, Pippin at that. She followed them until they reached a clearing, where they stopped and Tamis crouched behind a tree. She could see they were talking, but could not hear what they were saying. They suddenly, they leant in and kissed. Repulsed, Tamis turned and ran, not stopping until she reached her playroom tower. "Geez, you took your time." Said Kimios when she came in. "What did the white lady want with master Peregrin, anyway?" "I really don't know." Said Tamis wearily.  
  
The next day  
  
"PIP-PIN1" Called Merry as he wandered the banks of the Brandywine. "Where the heck are you?" "Merry1" Frodo jogged over the hill to join his cousin. "Any sign of him?" "No." Sighed Merry. "I don't know where he could have gone." "When did you see him last?" "Yesterday morning. He said he was going for a walk and not to expect him back for a while." Frodo was perplexed. "Well, why don't we go back to Bag End and think about this over some brandy?" "Sure Frodo. Oh I hope he's all right, he only took one meal's worth of mushrooms." However, before Frodo even had the glasses on the table, there was a knock on the door and Pippin fell in side. His fellow hobbits were shocked at his state. His clothes looked terrible. His shirt was ripped in several places, and a few buttons were missing. The suspenders he had been wearing when he left were no - where to be seen. Pippin's hair was wet and tangled more that usual. He had also been sweating heavily so he smelt putrid. But in spite of it all, he had a stupid grin on his face. "Pippin1" Cried Merry, pulling him to the sofa. "Are you all right? Where have you been?" "I've.oh.wow." Sighed Pippin. Merry raised his eyebrows at Frodo, who rotated an index finger around one ear several times. "I take it you had a good time?" He asked. "It was.amazing." Said Pippin dopily, and keeled over.and fell asleep. Merry turned to Frodo. "I don't know where he went, or what he was doing, but he seems to have enjoyed himself." "Perhaps it's best we never know." Said Frodo softly. 


End file.
